Editing Life

So, in the past 24 hours, I've had two people complain to me that I can't keep cheating by posting only Nibley homework assignments to my blog. Although I object to the distinction between my real life and my school life--the Nibleyesque musings are mostly things I would have written about anyway--I supposed I must submit to the will of the readers. I can't be angering all three of you and ending my promising blogging career, now can I?

I guess it's a fair evaluation that my blog has been consisting of mostly homework lately. Even the post on Japan was something I wrote on the discussion board for my study abroad class. I'm blaming the recent lack of blog posts on a recent increase in real life--the two seem to be in an equilibrium which is currently being driven towards life. In addition to the five blog posts in my head, I still have two draft posts languishing in the depths of blogger--"A Mormon Literature" (this one is from Christmas break!) and the final installment of "Problem of Perfection." But I'm busy. I've started a writing group with Ben, Joni, and Marisa. (The name Neo-Inklings still sounds too pretentious for me, but I guess it'll do for now.) I'm also working on a presentation for the Rocky Mountain Peer Tutoring Conference, expanding my essay on Mormon rhetoric for potential publication, and preparing to go to England this spring. (Darn, I still need to get my passport! I better do that today. I hear you need 6-8 weeks, and I don't want to pay the expedite fee.) Oh, and I'm spending several hours a day with George. (No emoticon is big enough for the smile this causes.)

So I came across this great post on zen habits this morning called "Editing Your Life." I saw that list of commitment categories and what did I do? Go out an make a spreadsheet of everything I'm doing right now. (Seriously, my obsession with Excel borders on totally creepy.) It's nice to see everything I'm doing in one place. No wonder I feel so disorganized though! With that many things going on, of course I'm going to drop the ball on a few of them. Lately, it's been the wrong ones though, and I need to rectify that--exercise needs to rise to the surface again, since I'm planning on surviving hiking all over England, and according to my journal, George and I have still only been on two dates. Not good.

I think I'd be able to get everything done if I didn't mind being completely busy all the time. Unfortunately, I believe downtime is super important. This is one of the major dichotomies of my life: I want to be militarily disciplined so I can accomplish everything, but I also value the serenity of taking time to just be. My whole life, I've envied people who are hyper-organized (like Ben, for example) who can, by regulating their time like a soup Nazi, accomplish everything and the kitchen sink. I have this perverse fascination with over-organization. Pathetically enough, I envy Harold Crick from Stranger than Fiction--to have the discipline to do the same things every day. (I've tried to create similar patterns for myself before. Thank goodness I'm too . . . me to stick to them.) I read Multiple Choice--a book on a girl with OCD--at least five times during high school, not to remind me that I shouldn't be obsessive, but to look for new tips on how to be more obsessive.

(Tangent: Great book, by the way. I still love the main gimmick of the book, which is introducing forced randomness into your life by making a multiple choice decision every day.

Example: What to wear to school:
A) A normal choice, one that you might do anyway. (Jeans and a tee)
B) Something just plain dumb. (Pajamas)
C) Mean, completely out of character. (Junior bridesmaid gown)
D) Charitable, sacrificial choice. (Old black pants-- will donate new ones to Salvation Army)

See? Doesn't that sound like fun? Okay, it's fun until the end of the book . . . which I won't spoil for you. Maybe it'll work out better if I figure out something to displace the mean choice.)

Something in my brain thinks that such order and control over my life would be a good thing. But then my heart tells me that life with that much order is hardly life.

There. You happy? As Marisa says, Miracle! Two posts in one day!

And I spent so long writing this post that I forgot to clock in for work. Priorities.