Family Portrait, 39 weeks, Medium: Pumpkin

A perfect likeness, except my belly doesn't glow so much.

Obsessive Compulsive M&M Eating

An excellent post on OCD M&M eating disease on Light Refreshments Served:

Here’s what always happens when I tear into the bag:

1. I count the M&Ms. There are usually 21. Sometimes there are 20; occasionally there are 22. I give myself a mental high-five when I get 22, as if it were some kind of bonus or something.

2. I separate the M&Ms according to color.

3. I arrange the M&Ms in patterns, depending on what color combinations I end up with. If I have relatively equal numbers of the different colors, for example, I’ll probably do one line of each. If I have some colors with lots of candies and some with few, I’ll make flowers with the scarcer colors as the centers and the more plentiful ones as the petals.

4. Each time I eat an M&M, I rearrange the patterns to restore the symmetry or the artistry or whatever governing principle I have selected for arranging them in the first place.

5. As for the M&M that goes into my mouth, I generally prop it upright between my front top and bottom teeth, apply just enough pressure to split the colorful candy shell in half, and then let the exposed chocolate surface fall onto my tongue. Alternatively, sometimes I dissolve the candy in my mouth until the shell is all gone and I have just that tiny drop of pure chocolate left.

Um, I do all those things except the counting, although I now realize this seems like an excellent idea. If only I weren't in such a hurry for chocolate when I open the package! Also, I don't do flowers; if I have too few of a color, I usually create multi-color pyramids and eat the extras that don’t conform to the pattern. Also, I like to lick the rim of the candy shell until I get to the chocolate and then pry both halves off.

Further to this: is anyone else annoyed by the lack of purple M&Ms? They totally promised them in that "new color" contest a few years back and I still don't have them. :( It’s almost as bad as the lack of blue Skittles. Why can’t these candy makers cater to my OCD desires for rainbow colored candy?

(Light Refreshments Served is an interesting blog, BTW. I highly encourage visiting and subscribing to their RSS.)

Cravings

Books. Where have all the good ones gone?

Rubix Cube: The Cake. 'Nuff said.

Now that's a baby blanket I can handle being seen with


My brain still hasn't figured out that I'm not going to class this semester. I miss classes.

Technically complies with my recent decision to buy more vests, but allows me to wear as a sweater, though I'm not particularly fond of the bobbles on the front

Baby By Numbers: Distance and Pain

• 1.3 - miles between our new apartment in Springville and George's family's house. This is nice because we can hop over there when we need things, and when the baby comes they will be close by to help, but bad because . . .
• 8 - miles between our apartment and campus. Yeah, the commute is going to suck, and I confess to being a bit worried about what will happen when I go into labor and have to call George back from campus. :( Ah well.
  
• 2 - Extra Strength Tylenol I have taken today. On Saturday my back started hurting like the devil. The kind of feeling like you've been hunched over too long, only much worse. Ever since, I've been trying to decide which is worse, popping pills or dealing with the pain. Did I mention that both George and I are anti-medication? This doesn't mean I don't want an epidural or anything, just that we don't like taking medicine for everyday pain.
  
• 770 - dollars we spent on dental work for George yesterday: 2 wisdom teeth pulled, 4 cavities filled. About the same time my back pain hit, George's teeth started hurting; I eventually convinced him we had to do something about it, despite not having dental coverage. Hurray for the Discounted Service Plan from BYU--I'm sure it could have cost a lot more. And the dentist we went to had the coolest office I've ever seen: massage chairs and free food! Pregnant lady paradise! But let me tell you, it's not been fun having a pregnant lady with back pain and her husband hopped up on painkillers in the same house. Nobody wants to be responsible. Everyone wants to guilt trip the other person into figuring out what to make for dinner. But to be fair, George has been really great about it. He's actually healing well (meaning no longer on prescription pain meds) and pushing me to keep doing things through the pain, which has helped. Now he's talking about having the wisdom teeth made into earrings for me. (Think again, silly brain.)
• 4 - pounds I gained over the three weeks between my prenatal appointments. No wonder my back is hurting. And all my maternity clothes aren't fitting any more either. I take comfort in the fact that I still weigh about 15 pounds less than I did when I graduated from high school, so obviously my body can handle it. It's just the distribution that's awkward.
• 4 - first names we've narrowed down to. Luke and Lucas are tied for first (I'm still not convinced about Lucus), with Adam and Quincy as runners-up. As for middle names, who knows.
  
• 1 - years George and I will have been married as of Saturday! Come to think of it, George also had dental work the Wednesday before we got married. This better not become a tradition. Anyway, we're headed up to Logan for the weekend to celebrate, to check out the trail for the Top of Utah Marathon George will be running in September, and to get a Bear Lake Raspberry shake that I've been craving all summer.
• 9 - weeks left until my due date! Wow, things are going fast.
  

The Coolest Page on the Web Ever

Go here and search for me.

Now if only they would catalog it so I could coerce people into checking it out.

Department Elevators

I've been wondering for a while now if the behavior of the elevators in a building can tell you something about the people who work there.

For example, there is a bank of two elevators in the JKB on BYU campus. One of these elevators will always be on the second floor, the main floor. If you call an elevator on the second floor, step in, and press a button, the elevator doors will remain open until the other elevator has returned to the second floor to take its place. You can actually hear the second elevator dinging down the floors as you stand there in your wide-open elevator looking like an idiot. If you call an elevator on the fourth floor and one elevator is in the basement picking people up while the other is idle on the second floor, which elevator will come to get you? Not the completely unused one on the second floor (remember the importance of manning the main level!), but the one in the basement which is full of people and will probably stop at the second floor anyway on its way up. By the way, this building houses some of the humanities department. In the other humanities building, the elevators talk.

Consider by contrast the elevator in the computer science wing of the TMCB. There is only one elevator, so it always comes to your floor. When it arrives, it dings twice to let you know its there. However, if you push a button before it finishes dinging, the elevator cuts off, mid-ding, closes, and immediately zips you up to the floor you wanted. This elevator is smart enough to know that when you push a button, it means you actually wanted to go to that floor. And quickly. Imagine that.

But then again, the fact that I've taken the time to figure out the elevator behavior tells something about me.

Two Powerpoints

I find the contrast between the two powerpoints I'm making today quite humorous. They also illustrate the idiosyncrasy of my education--I pretty much only write about things I'm interested in. To hell if they don't match other people's conceptions of classic English major subjects.



And now to write my 20-page medieval exegesis of T.S. Eliot's "Four Quartets." Sigh.

In Which I Have an Announcement to Make

Or rather several. This blog has fallen severely behind on my personal life. Don't worry; classes will be over in 2.5 weeks and then I am done with my undergrad, leaving much more time for the important things in life, like blogging.

On to business, from least important to most:

• I'm playing a very interesting ARG (alternate reality game) in connection with the upcoming summer olympics entitled "The Lost Ring," which is about the suppression of a secret olympic sport and the synchronization of alternate universes. If you're interested in conspiracy theories, weird quantum science fiction, or translating stuff from Esperanto, you should check out the wiki and get involved. If I can find ten other people in the area, maybe we can try playing the lost sport of the olympics--labyrinth running!
• Our car got squashed on St. Patrick's day, all because we decided to get pizza instead of cooking. After picking up the food, George parked in a really nice spot near our complex's parking lot entrance, which is usually great, except that someone in a blasted U-Hall didn't notice the 6' height clearance bar. They plowed into it and knocked one of the supporting beams down on the hood of our car. Of all the lameness! The car still runs, but we'd like to be able to open up the hood again, especially since our car eats oil and needs a refill every few weeks. Alas, it could take a while to be repaired since no one's insurance wants to take responsibility for the accident . . . .
• I won first place in the Vera Hinckley Mayhew essay contest! The winners aren't up on the website yet, but I thought I'd link that in case anyone cared to find out more (especially you future BYU students). First place is $300, which marks the first time I've been paid for writing since 8th grade when a poem I wrote was in the top ten in some Rocky Mountain youth poetry contest--I got $50 dollars. I guess that means that a high school and (almost) college diploma have earned me a 600% pay increase?
• A shortened version of the essay that won said contest is being published in Segullah this summer, so keep an eye out for it. I've also got a book notice coming out in the Journal of Mormon History, but that won't have a byline, so it's not as exciting.
• [UPDATE:] I also won third place in the David O. McKay essay contest. Which makes me a runner-up to the most awesome writer I know: Brooke Larson. Plus publication and money. Am I bragging? Well, I won't put a dollar amount, mostly since I can't find it online anywhere and I haven't gotten an official letter from them yet. :D
  
• I'm having a baby! I'm 9.5 weeks along now, which means that the baby is due on Halloween-ish. I'm really deadly sick right now, which is making it difficult to finish up classwork, but supposedly most morning sickness goes away around week 12-14. I can only pray.

Best Chocolate Ever

I figured I'd go for something a little lighter today, seeing as the blog is still reeling with comments on the last post. So, I am going to introduce you to the reason why George makes the best Santa Claus ever:


The Choxie Mint Cookie Crunch Bar! I swear, this is the chocolate bar of the GODS! Although it costs like $1.80 at Target, it is worth every cent: smooth truffley dark chocolate with tiny pieces of white mint candy. The candy pieces aren't hard and crunchy and annoying--I'd barely notice them except for the occasional divine flavor burst. It is perfect and subtle. I can barely type straight thinking about it. That said, I need to go buy a bunch. As soon as BYU lets go of my excess financial aid money. Grr.

(PS. Choxie is available only at Target. Just thought I'd make that clear. And apparently they don't have the bars for online order, although they do have all of the super cute looking gift packages.)

The Internet is a Many Splendored Thing

Why are all of the Google ads on my DailyLit email of Anna Karenina about pole dancers? Oh the scandalaciousness of those Russian balls!

Speaking of experimental reading forms, I've been reading a short story called "goodcaptain" (based on "Benito Cereno" by Herman Melville) on Twitter all this semester. Basically, the story comes out a few sentences each day. A good twist on the old serial novel, and it's surprisingly easy to follow. The story's reaching a climax, so you still have time to subscribe on Twitter or Google Reader. It's free!

I'm considering writing a top 10-20 highlight list for this blog. Is this appropriate since I've sort of let it die? On the upside of this, my husband has threatened to make me a new blog over Christmas break, on our own server space and everything. Shiny. I think my New Year's Resolution will be to get back into blogging. All in favor, say aye.

The following comic proves my geek theory--people are just jealous of us:

It's not all about Card: Mormons and Science Fiction

All right, all right. After much harassment from Ben, I've been compelled to post something on my blog about what I've been up to. I just handed in a final paper with the title "Of Saints and Starships: The History of Mormons and Science Fiction." No, it is not all about Orson Scott Card. Seriously people. It's a twelve page long beast listing many of the intersections of Mormonism and science fiction. Here's some interesting excerpts, none of which include the ever delightful Card:

There are two strains of thought on the relationship between religion and science fiction. One view is that these two are inevitable partners because of their scale and themes, a view best represented by C. S. Lewis: “If you have a religion it must be cosmic; therefore it seems to me odd that this genre [religious science fiction] was so late in arriving” (Lewis 125).

. . .

The first [Mormon science fiction] is a short story/play by Parley P. Pratt in 1844 entitled “A Dialogue between Joseph Smith and the Devil,” which portrays a conversation between two regarding the success of the Restoration. . . . . As a work of science fiction, it must be admitted that the piece is fairly shallow. Most of the speculative fiction elements fall into the accusation that religious science fiction is primarily allegorical—the story exists primarily to convey a barely veiled ideas attempt to preach the Mormon message. However, this story undeniably represents an attempt by a Mormon to represent the tenets of his religion through speculative fiction framework.

. . .

Ironically, the short stories of inactive Mormon Zenna Henderson from the same period [1950s-1960s] show a more obvious LDS influence. In 1951, she published the first of her “People” stories. Her stories featured an alien race, dubbed “the People,” forced to emigrate to Earth because of the impending destruction of their home planet. Landing in the southwestern United States (Henderson spent most of her life in Arizona), the People established a society separate from humanity both to preserve their unique culture and to prevent harassment because of their unique psychic gifts. The analog to the establishment of Utah by the early Mormons is obvious, though it has apparently never been commented on by scholars . . . .

. . .

Additionally, three collections of specifically Mormon science fiction were published during the late 80s and early 90s entitled LDSF: Latter-Day Science Fiction (Thousand Oaks, CA: Millennial Productions 1982). These collections were inextricably tied to Mormon culture: the second volume contains an introductory essay by Hugh Nibley and stories that speculate on missionary work involving time travel and a future church where only women have the priesthood. (A copy with margin notes by Hugh Nibley can be found in the BYU library’s Ancient Studies room.) These collections are of mediocre quality and are generally little known . . . .

. . .

Six main themes of science fiction which coincide with the interests of Mormon theology:
1. The identity of the human race and possibilities for human progression
2. The identity of the individual; questions of destiny and free will
3. Explanations for the “homesickness” of the human soul
4. The identity of God; the conflict posed by discovering other belief systems
5. Responsibility for personal actions; the ability to atone for mistakes that affect others
6. The ideal structure of society; the treatment of fellow beings

. . .

Michael R. Collings studies several mainstream science fiction stories with prominent references to Mormonism, the most notable being the satiric “Fosterite Church of the New Revelation” in Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land (New York: Berkley, 1961); the sexually repressed hypocrite Nephi Sarvant in Philip Jose Farmer’s Flesh (New York: Signet, 1986); and the attempt to theologically sanitize Mormonism in Piers Anthony’s Planet of Tarot trilogy (New York: Jove, 1979) (Collings). In other words, . . . many of the Mormon stereotypes of the 19th century had survived intact in genre fiction, and specifically science fiction.

If you're interested in this stuff you might check out the following websites:

• http://www.adherents.com/lit/sf_lds.html - A comprehensive list of all mentions of LDS characters in mainstream SF novels.
• http://mormonsf.org/ - A database maintained by Marny Parkin containing a comprehensive collection of all science fiction written by Mormon authors, as well as a list of non-fiction about Mormon SF authors.
• http://mormonsf.org/reading.html - Marny Parkin’s recommended survey reading list of Mormon science fiction.

A Simple Solution

You are a soon-to-be-married geek couple at BYU who just decided to move your wedding from December 28 to August 30. In your high-speed search for married housing, you:

A) create a spreadsheet from BYU's inadequate family housing search, eliminate entries that are too expensive or too late, then proceed to rank other information such as distance from campus and furnishing, sorting the spreadsheet to your heart's content;
B) make a Google map of the locations of the housing you are considering and color the icons to show which are near and far from campus;
C) write a program to automatically generate emails to the owners on your spreadsheet, letting them know of your interest in the property;
D) all of the above and now you can't stop giggling about how much fun it was.

Getting to Be More and More Well Known

Wow, I'm feeling famous lately. First my blog starts showing up everywhere (relatively speaking--I guess the bloggernacle isn't that big). Next I get to present at the AML conference. Now I'm in the BYU paper (The Daily Universe) as officially the geekiest Harry Potter fan on campus. If you're at BYU, pick up a paper and turn to page seven to see yours truly in full Harry Potter regalia. :D The article doesn't appear to be online yet, although my Harry Potter interview from last year is.

Ah, geekiness in the springtime. Nothing like it.

Update: The article's online!

Analyzing Procrastination

Okay, this article on why we procrastinate is officially the coolest thing I've seen today. You all know my propensity to explain things through pretentious mathematical equations. Well, how about a mathematical equation to explain why I'm sitting here typing this instead of reading more Hugh Nibley.
You'll have to read the article to find out what it's supposed to mean, but I just had to laugh at the description of procrastinating a college term paper:

To help illustrate these characteristics, the following prototypical example is put forth: the college student’s essay paper. A college student who has been assigned an essay on September 15th, the start of a semester, due on December 15th, the course end. This student likes to socialize but he also likes to get good grades. The figure below maps the changes in expected utility for him over the course of the semester regarding his two choices, studying vs. socializing. Since the reward for socializing is always in the present, it maintains a uniformly high utility evaluation. For writing, its reward is temporally distant initially, diminishing its utility. Only towards the deadline do the effects of discounting decrease and writing becomes increasingly likely. In this example, the switch in motivational rank occurs on December 3rd, leaving just 12 days for concentrated effort. During this final hour, it is quite likely that earnest but empty promises (i.e., intentions) are made to start working earlier next time.

Amen, and amen.

Orientalist Yearnings

Right now, John Bennion, the professor over my study abroad, is in Japan visiting his son, and he's posting journal entries to blackboard (BYU's classroom software) to keep us updated on his doing. Reading about his adventures in Japan is making me totally jealous. Especially that he gets to see the new (well, old to Japan apparently, but new to us) Miyazaki film, Whisper of the Heart. Miyazaki + John Denver = bliss! I absolutely adore Miyazaki, especially Princess Mononoke and Howl's Moving Castle. I really like the whole anime look, and also the Japanese style of storytelling--very indirect and subtle. Ha ha, anime and subtle in the same sentence. In most cases, not true, but for Miyazaki, definitely. :D I wonder if there are anime versions of any of the novels we are reading . . . .

Japan holds an interesting place in my mind. I don't know that much about it, yet I've fallen in love with the few over-romanticized scraps that I have. Memoirs of a Geisha has recently become one of my favorite movies. I watched it three times in one week before school started. Inaccurate as it may be, the beauty and the mystery just draw me in. It leaves me with this strange longing to abandon my English and chemistry programs and just fly out in my time machine to a Japan in the 1920's and wear beautiful kimonos

For those of you who don't know, I'm now officially dating George, who went on his mission to Japan, which doesn't help my Japanese obsession at all. We went out to eat at Tepanyaki, where I finally learned how to use chopsticks properly: absolute ecstasy! And the fact that the food was over-spiced to appeal to American tastebuds and the samurai swords out front were probably some cheap knock-offs didn't bother me at all. In fact, George tells me it's illegal to sell real samurai swords in Japan anymore. Interesting.

It's kind of like orientalism all over again, but I somehow don't feel guilty about it.

In summary, I'm totally jealous of John. He should bring us all back some Pocky or something. I can eat a whole box of pocky. No trouble.

Not a Post

I will put some words down in this little text box and format them like a post. That way, when people read them, they will think they are reading a post.

But they're not.

Predictions I Need to Make for HP7

So I'm thinking it would be sweet to do some sort of coordinated weekly Harry Potter blog challenge to count down to HP7 being released, the idea being to force us all to put our predictions down in print so that we can laugh at ourselves later when JKR totally fools us all. And to participate in the greatest event in English literature in several decades. :D

Of course, there are more than 20 weeks until it comes out, so we'll need to find a lot of topics, or start it considerably later. Anyway, so here's my brainstorm. Please comment with anything else you'd like to see me ramble on/want to ramble on yourself. I'm trying to place them in order of increasing importance, so that the most hotly contested issues are near the release date.

• Teachers - new DADA teacher? is Sluggy staying?
  
• Percy - will he ever stop being a prat?
• The Dursleys - what's their fitting end? does Dudley get a Wii or not?
  
• Sirius - do we see him again? ever?
• Weasleys - does one of them die? what about F&G's shop?
• Minor Character Bonanza - Luna? Neville? Lav-Lav?
  
• The 'Ships (general) - who gets together with whom in The Final Chapter (TFC)?
• Ron/Hermione - what happens to/between them?
• Harry/Ginny - is it Spiderman all over again? will they both be alive for TFC?
  
• Horcruxes - what are the rest of them? how the heck will Harry find them?
  
• Dumbledore - will/how will he make an appearance?
• Snape - good/evil? live/die?
• Harry - live/die? horcrux/not?
• JKR - most brilliant woman ever. (not a question.)

Who wants to play with me?

Itemized Inventory

• One (1) blue Jansport backpack
• One (1) expanding file folder, mostly empty
• One (1) $10 five subject notebook
• Two (2) copies of my poems for creative writing class
  
• One (1) Mead writing notebook for English novel class, redundant
  
• Nibley on the Timely and Timeless
• The Great Divorce (Library copy)
  
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
• Wuthering Heights
• Language as Symbolic Action (Professor Boswell's copy)
  
• One (1) personal writing notebook
• Two (2) empty tupperware from lunch
• One (1) wallet, mostly empty
  
• One (1) package of tissues
• One (1) contacts case
  
• Glasses case (empty)
  
• Various coupons and gift certificates from concerned family members
• Assorted clutter
  
• Cell phone (Cingular 2125)
  
• One (1) pair headphones for cell phone
  
• BYU ID card
  
• One (1) set of ear plugs
• Seven (7) blue Bic pens
• Five (5) assorted mechanical pencils
• Two (2) canisters of mechanical pencil lead, the wrong size for the pencils
• One (1) highlighter
• One (1) red pen
  
• Two (2) tubes of chapstick
• Not my keys

Hmm. Looks like I may not be going home this weekend. At least I have some books. :D

IT'S COMING!!!

The Harry Potter 7 release date is out! July 21, 2007!!!!! Oh my gosh!

My concentration is shot for the rest of today.

Thoughts--Now in Five Assorted Flavors!!

• I think everyone with a blog will agree that we all need this "Blogito, Ergo Sum" t-shirt. Clearly, the Latin plus obscure philosophy plus internet culture equals cool, right? :D
• Do they even make side-loading sheet protectors? Down with unnecessary specificity.
  
• Telling lies about reading books is bad. Maybe these people need to play a little Canon to release their shame.
• I just finished reading The Unlikely Romance of Kate Bjorkman on Tuesday. Why didn't someone tell me about this book before? (Joni, I'm looking at you!)
• Everyone should come to the BYU AML poetry reading thing tonight at 7 pm in 3215 Wilk. I know all three of the poets, and they are amazing.