Seven Lessons for the New Year

1. A hearty stomach can stomach many lies. Or digest a chisel. Whichever.
2. When a man is wealthy, he boils the pot. Nope, I don’t get it either, but apparently the Jamaicans do.
3. The horse will see the corn when he looks at the corn. Obviously.
4. Peter Breinholt singing with the Mo Tab for President Hinckley’s devotional—the apocalypse is at hand.
5. If you accidentally light a firework in your basement, don’t try to put it out by throwing it in the toilet. A lot of blue smoke will inevitably follow. If you do it anyway, invest heavily in Febreeze.
   
6. If you pour massive amounts of time and money into your geeky passion, you will end up in the Rose Parade. Sounds like a deal to me.
7. Never try to write without a good sound effects guy. How can you write a decent story until you know what a mutant pterodactyl having his brains imploded by a lone bagpiper sounds like? Honestly.
   

A more serious post to follow.